WHAT MAKES A MOTHER ?
In 29 years of my life, I haven’t been blamed for too many things by my father, but he has had one constant complaint.. that I am more my mother’s daughter than his ! Every time he says that, I blush and think of something witty to say in my defense, but nothing works. He’s right after all. Only my mother won’t believe that!!
Which child in their early years hasn’t been asked this question by eager parents “ kon vadhare game ? mummy ke pappa ?” And the parents will wait with bated breath while the poor child is confused and obviously doesn’t know what to say.
Though personally I think the question is very unfair, but everyone knows it is asked in good humor and whoever wins (mostly the mummy), gloats with happiness and pride !
It is correctly said that “God cannot be everywhere, that’s why he made mothers”. A lot of movies, songs, poems have been dedicated to mothers and yet most of the times, we take our own for granted. Have we ever wondered what life would be without ‘mummy’? No, I don’t have the guts, nor the imagination to picture a situation like that. I wouldn’t want to be in a place where I can’t reach my mom.
My mother is not only my security blanket; she’s also the bank where I deposit all my hurts and worries. She’s the person I call when I want a compliment for no reason. She will applaud even the tiniest of my efforts, so I can keep going without being discouraged. She knows how to balance the appreciation and the criticism to just the right note, so I can do my best. She’s the first one I call every morning so my day starts with the reassurance of her loving voice. Sometimes both of us have nothing to say but I still hold on to the phone because it makes me feel as if she’s around!
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, She sticks around , shooing away the darkness, and causing peace to return to our hearts.
It is no wonder then, that in the deepest or even the slightest pain we consciously or unconsciously say the word “mama”. Mothers have a knack of loving, scolding and forgiving all at the same time. But whatever they do, the only thing a mother’s heart contains is pure and unconditional love for her child. We really can’t understand this till we have children of our own and we become mothers ourselves.
When I was younger and didn’t have children, I would always say “ I will be different from my mom. She was very strict, I will be much cooler” but in fact, after 2 children I have exactly turned into my mother. The way I discipline them, play with them, shout at them, is the same way she would. (and I didn’t always approve of her methods).I now realize that she did the best she could, because I too am doing the best I can. I feel as if I have become a reflection of her. And when someone tells me I am like my mother, I take it as a supreme compliment!!
When a child is born, for him to survive and grow, his mother is just as important as his heartbeat. When he grows to be a toddler, she becomes his best playmate and friend. At 5 years, as much as the child may want to do everything on his own, he is still dependant on his mother . At 10 years, he thinks of her as the cook and the home manager. Through his teens, he is independent and rebellious, and probably thinks his mother doesn’t understand him. But as he enters his 20’s, she becomes his friend and supporter & his “ideal woman” when he’s looking for a partner.
A “mother – son” is a very different equation from that of “mother- daughter”. During any and every stage of a daughter life, whether a toddler, teenager or adult, a daughter cannot do without her mother. She is not only dependant on her mother for all her needs, but her mother is an extension of her. She wants to look, behave, talk and be like her mother. As she grows, the mother daughter bond just becomes stronger and they become best friends. ( who says best friends don’t fight ??) Unfortunately this best friend phase comes mostly after the daughter is married.
All acclaimed and famous mothers have mostly the same things in common. Whether she is Krishna ’s Yashoda or Devki Ma, or Bharat’s Ma Kaikai( Ramayan wouldn’t have happened had she not wanted the throne for her son).Mother Teresa or Amitabh Bachchans “mere paas Ma hai” Ma.
They all selflessly wished the best for their children, sacrificed their whole life for them, loved them unconditionally and forgave their follies. Ekta kapoor made “Ba” live for almost 200 years through 8 years of Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi, because she was the ideal mother and was so loved by the viewers that no one could bear to let her go!!
Our mothers at home don’t get this popularity, don’t get any awards and don’t get paid for their lifetime of service with overtime and no perks !! But they do get to hear from the men and their children “what do u do all day ? Just sit at home and watch TV?” If the men and the children would turn into the mothers for even one day, they wouldn’t last even 15 hours!
If you have noticed, when a father turns off the TV and says goodnight, he immediately goes to his room and is fast asleep. When a mother says goodnight, before she is ready to retire, she fills her children’s lunch boxes for the next day, checks their bags for the right books, irons their school uniforms, gets her husbands clothes organized for office, tucks her children warmly in bed, checks the house and locks the windows, tidies up the room and then goes to her bed. And no one would have even noticed her doing all this.
If I was asked to tell you what my mother means to me, I wouldn’t be able to do it. There aren't enough words in the dictionary. I can only tell you that I love her immensely and I wish I could express to her that I love her just as much as I love my own children. There is no greater love than the love of a mother and a child, and there is nothing better than a mama’s hug.(made popular by Munnabhai as Jadu ki jhappi)
Biology is the least of what makes one a mother. It is the warmth in her heart, the strength in her soul, the focus in her mind and the love in her eyes that makes her so wonderful. Her undying faith and the attitude of never giving up on her children, no matter how hopeless the situation, make her an icon of Godliness. She is the reason why everyone wants to return home at the end of the day.
No wonder then, when a little girl was asked where her home was, she replied, "where mother is."
