For all spouces / boyfriends / girlfriends who think that your partners nag and irritate you and get on your nerves etc etc etc.. this read could be the revelation of a lifetime !
trust me, you will bless me for sharing this with you..
I was let into this little secret by a person who i hold in the highest esteem and have had the hugest crush on him since 2005. My landmark coach, Mr Pravin Puri.. I think he felt compelled to give me this knowledge as a gift after i told him how mad i was about him ;)
sharing it with all of u..
For the men : The secret about women
What do little girls do ? What is their game ? They play with dolls. They nurture them, they mother them, take care of them..Their dialogue is always one way "Do this, do that.. wear this, lets go here, eat this, dont eat that, i will punish you, listen to me, etc etc etc". With time, the girls grow up, they leave their dolls and their parents get them married. to whom ? to poor you.
The girls are innocent and only continue to play their little doll games with the husband. The game of 'nurturing and ordering'. The dialogue too remains the same " where are you going? why are you going ? do this, dont do that, listen to me, i told you so.. etc etc"
So everytime your wife nags, its really not the fault of the husband...its the wife's childhood habit, its her game, its what she knows , its what she does....
Men, dont take it personally..Everytime your wife nags, realise dat shes playing her childhood game. In your mind, just say " doll, doll, doll, doll, doll, doll, doll" and you shall feel better, because this really has nothing to do with you !
For the women : The secret about men
Since men were little boys, they did just one thing..their game was to play with toys.To enjoy the newness of a brand new expensive thing for 3 minutes to be precise and then turn it upside down, side to side, open it up, check for the weak links and then break them.After it is broken they sit with their tools to fix those broken pieces.
Men are like that, they cannot stay without messing a situation or breaking things and then they sit wondering how to fix them.. Wives, dont take it personally when ur husband screws up a perfectly fine arrangement. Its their intrinsic nature to break and fix things.. Remember, everytime you wonder how your husband could do this to you, just let your mind say " toy, toy, toy, toy,toy, toy,toy". and you shall feel better instantly !!
Infact if you have a husband who does not break or spoil anything atleast once a week, safeguard him, because he is a rare species.. difficult to find those kinds now a days !
Till, the next blog......keep smiling !
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I am ....
At one of my recent training workshops, I had given my class a task of introducing themselves as creatively as possible..I didnt want any of the 'I am a housewife.....I am a professional.....i am fat.....i am bored....." kind of a thingi.( oh trust me, we get all kinds of introductions) I knew it was going to be difficult for them.. and i wanted to challenge their limits. Difficult not because they were not artists with words, but because they never saw themselves in any other way except the one that they use to describe themselves in.. housewife, mother, professional, retired, tired.. these words were their limit. they never could see beyond !
Then i had one person, who as timid as she looked, gave me a different answer. Her voice was barely audible and i had to ask her to repeat what she said.. Then came those words "I am a believer". What she said, immediately caught me, and i wanted to know more details.. believer.. of what ? She didnt have an answer, but her incomplete answer was as whole as it could be !
I came home that evening with her words still ringing in my ear. " I am a believer too", I heard myself say.. it was like she had described me.. I am a believer in growth, a believer in sciences, a believer of love stories, a believer of fantasies, a believer of God, of Life itself !! It feels wonderful just uttering these words, like i am validating life and it will inturn validate me ..
I always thought i was a special child, a lucky one, like there was a secret connection between God and me.. no, not that of spirituality, but one of "Chugli" (Gossip). I was his Gossip Girl ! It sounds really strange, but everything that i may have communicated with 'Krishna', always came true for me, every wish, every prayer, every small miniscule demand..I would have no doubts, it just always happened ! sometimes to such an extent that i would worry about it, I wondered about what would happen if i said something unfit or wrong.. what if i wished badly for someone in a fit of anger ? would that happen too ?
True to the record, as soon as i asked these question, i stumbled upon the Dvd of "the secret", and there Krishna was again, answering all my question, in the name of Rhonda Byrne !
My life is a testimony of 'The law of attraction". Everything in my life is exactly the way i thought of it, the way i wanted it. My husband, my children , my in laws, my work, my friends..... its a true life copy of the design that my mind created over these years. Then i wondered, how come the amount of money isnt in place ? i would like something 100 times more than what i have... That night i got an answer to that question too...Even though my heart would love a lot more money and luxury, my mind actually feared it.. I dont know whether i am prepared for the kind of hardwork, committment and energy that it takes to make that much money. I want to be Oprah winfrey( heart - oh yes !), mind ( babe, i dont think so !)
whatever it is that i dont have, is because i am not clear about it, whatever it is that i have..i had no doubts ever about those things, not even for a second !
I am a believer for sure.. a believer in the law of attraction, a believer that life is meant to be great, joyful and plentiful..only if u r clear about it..
note : if ur sure u want your life to be superlative, make a decision, Now..
cause once u have that life, you wont be able to cry about anything..now that could remove the joy of cribbing from the lives of a few, so move only when ur ready !
till the next blog,
life is good !!
Then i had one person, who as timid as she looked, gave me a different answer. Her voice was barely audible and i had to ask her to repeat what she said.. Then came those words "I am a believer". What she said, immediately caught me, and i wanted to know more details.. believer.. of what ? She didnt have an answer, but her incomplete answer was as whole as it could be !
I came home that evening with her words still ringing in my ear. " I am a believer too", I heard myself say.. it was like she had described me.. I am a believer in growth, a believer in sciences, a believer of love stories, a believer of fantasies, a believer of God, of Life itself !! It feels wonderful just uttering these words, like i am validating life and it will inturn validate me ..
I always thought i was a special child, a lucky one, like there was a secret connection between God and me.. no, not that of spirituality, but one of "Chugli" (Gossip). I was his Gossip Girl ! It sounds really strange, but everything that i may have communicated with 'Krishna', always came true for me, every wish, every prayer, every small miniscule demand..I would have no doubts, it just always happened ! sometimes to such an extent that i would worry about it, I wondered about what would happen if i said something unfit or wrong.. what if i wished badly for someone in a fit of anger ? would that happen too ?
True to the record, as soon as i asked these question, i stumbled upon the Dvd of "the secret", and there Krishna was again, answering all my question, in the name of Rhonda Byrne !
My life is a testimony of 'The law of attraction". Everything in my life is exactly the way i thought of it, the way i wanted it. My husband, my children , my in laws, my work, my friends..... its a true life copy of the design that my mind created over these years. Then i wondered, how come the amount of money isnt in place ? i would like something 100 times more than what i have... That night i got an answer to that question too...Even though my heart would love a lot more money and luxury, my mind actually feared it.. I dont know whether i am prepared for the kind of hardwork, committment and energy that it takes to make that much money. I want to be Oprah winfrey( heart - oh yes !), mind ( babe, i dont think so !)
whatever it is that i dont have, is because i am not clear about it, whatever it is that i have..i had no doubts ever about those things, not even for a second !
I am a believer for sure.. a believer in the law of attraction, a believer that life is meant to be great, joyful and plentiful..only if u r clear about it..
note : if ur sure u want your life to be superlative, make a decision, Now..
cause once u have that life, you wont be able to cry about anything..now that could remove the joy of cribbing from the lives of a few, so move only when ur ready !
till the next blog,
life is good !!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
"Mind it Rajnikant", here comes "Mend it kavyal"
I dont know what it is with the madness, the crazy crazy jokes that have been doing the rounds of millions of cell phones since the uber expensive Robot released.. What is this fascination with Rajnikant ?? I agree that his style of flipping the cigerette and lighting it in a strange manner is amusing, and so is his accent, but i refuse to understand the jokes... I once got this one " My fone is full of Rajnikant jokes.............. and now..........i dont need a charger!". Sure that was smart...if only Rajnikant could save electricity by posting his pictures on circuit boards, that would be awesome !
anyways, this is really not so much about Rajnikant..but i cant seem to get his slogan out of my head "Mind it!"
I have a similar slogan for my life too "Mend it!"
Recently i have been doing a lot of introspection (ok, to be frank, my husband has been doing more of it for me !) I seem to have this constant urge to fix things, fix problems, fix people, fix relationships, fix confusions....and nothing in the world explains it to me..why ??? why would i want to be mother india ? everyone has their own mom, their own best friend, their own guide, their own bottles of alcohol.... then why do i bother?
Most of the times i feel like i can help, i know i will make a difference there, i just want to be of assistance, of some service, do my good deed for the day, spread the cheer, bring the smile types... I dont know if people really appreciate that on face value, i wonder sometimes if people get sick of me because i can really get on their backs to fix their own problem ! Its almost as if their problem causes me more discomfort than it does to the owner.
For friends and family who have experienced this "mend it" streak of me, i know you have been bearing with me for a long time and i really appreciate ur patience, but i dont know if im ever going to stop ! I promise myself everyday that "Dats it !.. no more advising, no more suggesting, no more preaching.. I will mind my own business and let everyone be",
by afternoon, i have already broken that resolution with someone who has a puppy face or a whiny sound.. hopeless me !
and while i write this, i wonder whether everything that people discuss with me is actually a problem ( even though it may sound like one to me )
for eg:
Mother daughter quarrel in another house...(According to me...problem)
Irresponsible teenagers.....(problem)
A couple getting divorced...(problem with a capital P)
Lack of romance in a friend's life....(definate problem)
A friend is'nt married.....(according to me - BIIiG problem)
A feud in a relatives family...(problem)
A friend's baby suffering from stomach ache....(problem)
I am not a doctor, i am not a priest, I am definately not a marriage councellor, neither am i an astrologer..... But i am "Mend it Kavyal", so by the virtue of my name and tag line, i still go ahead to 'Fix' these and more..
Recently i realised that i go overboard when i met a really nice guy and realised that he was on the verge of a divorce...I knew i couldnt help him there since i had met him 2 mins ago, but i could save his future.. so what do i do ? I start looking through my list of spinster girlfriends and wonder if anyone could be a perfect match for this to-be-suitor ! Without exaggerations, i didnt even know his last name, but i had the faith that i could 'mend it'..
I have to admit that the need to solve is more my need than anyone else's. It gives me tremendous satisfactiion when i have been able to be of some help. makes me feel on the top of the world, like today's day was so worth it..I know that i need to fix people more than people need me to fix things (..ok..m a little confused now )
Being the daddy's little girl that i am, i generally refer to something that dad may have taught me in the past.. he told me once " never try to fix the little crummy problems that people have in their lives, even though they may seem like you can do something about them in a second... those little problems give them something to talk about, give them something to think about and worry about..its a joy to sulk about those little things..if u erase those problems from the root, you take away their joy of cribbing about it"
maybe he is right..I should just let everyone be with their own issues...maybe that is their fodder for entertainment, for sympathy, for socialization.. AHA !! May be the things that seem like problems to me, are not problems to them at all !!! eg: Not being married could also be a blessing , right ?
I dont need to prove my mettle by becoming the master problem solver or saviour in miseries..dont get me wrong, i dont intend to leave my friends alone or be indifferent to their life or their issues..people who are around me know that i will always be there when they need me, but i want to give them a chance to really NEED me first !
Finally, to not offend Rajnikant, let me tell you, that no one can be a better problem solver than the master himself.
You know why Obama came to India.. just to request Indian government, "hamari puri military, airforce, technoloogy aap le lo....bas hame Rajnikanth dedo".
anyways, this is really not so much about Rajnikant..but i cant seem to get his slogan out of my head "Mind it!"
I have a similar slogan for my life too "Mend it!"
Recently i have been doing a lot of introspection (ok, to be frank, my husband has been doing more of it for me !) I seem to have this constant urge to fix things, fix problems, fix people, fix relationships, fix confusions....and nothing in the world explains it to me..why ??? why would i want to be mother india ? everyone has their own mom, their own best friend, their own guide, their own bottles of alcohol.... then why do i bother?
Most of the times i feel like i can help, i know i will make a difference there, i just want to be of assistance, of some service, do my good deed for the day, spread the cheer, bring the smile types... I dont know if people really appreciate that on face value, i wonder sometimes if people get sick of me because i can really get on their backs to fix their own problem ! Its almost as if their problem causes me more discomfort than it does to the owner.
For friends and family who have experienced this "mend it" streak of me, i know you have been bearing with me for a long time and i really appreciate ur patience, but i dont know if im ever going to stop ! I promise myself everyday that "Dats it !.. no more advising, no more suggesting, no more preaching.. I will mind my own business and let everyone be",
by afternoon, i have already broken that resolution with someone who has a puppy face or a whiny sound.. hopeless me !
and while i write this, i wonder whether everything that people discuss with me is actually a problem ( even though it may sound like one to me )
for eg:
Mother daughter quarrel in another house...(According to me...problem)
Irresponsible teenagers.....(problem)
A couple getting divorced...(problem with a capital P)
Lack of romance in a friend's life....(definate problem)
A friend is'nt married.....(according to me - BIIiG problem)
A feud in a relatives family...(problem)
A friend's baby suffering from stomach ache....(problem)
I am not a doctor, i am not a priest, I am definately not a marriage councellor, neither am i an astrologer..... But i am "Mend it Kavyal", so by the virtue of my name and tag line, i still go ahead to 'Fix' these and more..
Recently i realised that i go overboard when i met a really nice guy and realised that he was on the verge of a divorce...I knew i couldnt help him there since i had met him 2 mins ago, but i could save his future.. so what do i do ? I start looking through my list of spinster girlfriends and wonder if anyone could be a perfect match for this to-be-suitor ! Without exaggerations, i didnt even know his last name, but i had the faith that i could 'mend it'..
I have to admit that the need to solve is more my need than anyone else's. It gives me tremendous satisfactiion when i have been able to be of some help. makes me feel on the top of the world, like today's day was so worth it..I know that i need to fix people more than people need me to fix things (..ok..m a little confused now )
Being the daddy's little girl that i am, i generally refer to something that dad may have taught me in the past.. he told me once " never try to fix the little crummy problems that people have in their lives, even though they may seem like you can do something about them in a second... those little problems give them something to talk about, give them something to think about and worry about..its a joy to sulk about those little things..if u erase those problems from the root, you take away their joy of cribbing about it"
maybe he is right..I should just let everyone be with their own issues...maybe that is their fodder for entertainment, for sympathy, for socialization.. AHA !! May be the things that seem like problems to me, are not problems to them at all !!! eg: Not being married could also be a blessing , right ?
I dont need to prove my mettle by becoming the master problem solver or saviour in miseries..dont get me wrong, i dont intend to leave my friends alone or be indifferent to their life or their issues..people who are around me know that i will always be there when they need me, but i want to give them a chance to really NEED me first !
Finally, to not offend Rajnikant, let me tell you, that no one can be a better problem solver than the master himself.
You know why Obama came to India.. just to request Indian government, "hamari puri military, airforce, technoloogy aap le lo....bas hame Rajnikanth dedo".
Thursday, November 11, 2010
starting out....
An astrologer once told me to try my hand at writing.. "writing a novel will be good for u.. u will taste great success ". The astrology freak that i am, i was tempted to absorb his advise.. writing cant be that bad ! plus i can do it at my time and convienence, when the kids are sleeping and i am bored with no one at my disposal to bitch with..
But one hitch..who writes anymore ??well, maybe a few who belong to the forgotten era of people who used paper and pen to communicate ! Things have changed now. The express writing now popularly known as blogging is in.
Unfortunately i am from that era as well, or atleast my creative mind is still stuck in that time where using paper to pen your thoughts signified an intelligent mind and a romantic streak of persona.There is something extensively satisfying about the smooth nib of a great pen rolling on to the rough surface of handmade paper.. the click click clack of a laptop lags behind in that department.
On the insistence of an adamant and almost sweet husband, i begin my experiments with the typed word."Its a good day to start darling..thursday, you have the blessings of Saibaba" he said.. "Well, id take your word for it but i doubt Saibaba even knows me !?!"
There are somethings that you do for yourself, some you do for others.. this is purely an exercise done to please my husband because he guarantees it will please me in the long run too !! ( it would please me more if i was paid for this !)
by the way, is there a term like the bloggers block yet ??? i think i may be suffering from it already...
The new blogger on the block
kavyal
But one hitch..who writes anymore ??well, maybe a few who belong to the forgotten era of people who used paper and pen to communicate ! Things have changed now. The express writing now popularly known as blogging is in.
Unfortunately i am from that era as well, or atleast my creative mind is still stuck in that time where using paper to pen your thoughts signified an intelligent mind and a romantic streak of persona.There is something extensively satisfying about the smooth nib of a great pen rolling on to the rough surface of handmade paper.. the click click clack of a laptop lags behind in that department.
On the insistence of an adamant and almost sweet husband, i begin my experiments with the typed word."Its a good day to start darling..thursday, you have the blessings of Saibaba" he said.. "Well, id take your word for it but i doubt Saibaba even knows me !?!"
There are somethings that you do for yourself, some you do for others.. this is purely an exercise done to please my husband because he guarantees it will please me in the long run too !! ( it would please me more if i was paid for this !)
by the way, is there a term like the bloggers block yet ??? i think i may be suffering from it already...
The new blogger on the block
kavyal
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