If someone were to give you a surprise gift.. say a weekend getaway at goa.. ur tickets are for saturday and you can stay until monday evening.. think about it.. how would you be feeling while ur packing on friday ? Undoubtedly super duper, totally excited, upbeat, charged up, refreshed already and so very happy !!
scene two : ur already in Goa on the monday morning, living the holiday you were so excited about.. but how do u feel today ?? think carefully... most of u will be in the same boat as i would be.. not so happy, dreading to go back home, sad that the holiday is about to get over, sulking about the traffic and workload waiting back home for u !
So ironic that when we look forward to a bright new day ( eg: the packing friday), we already feel happy, and well, that may be the best day, even better than the one you had in Goa, simply because of the way you made urself feel...Saturay may be a nice day as well... but Monday, you pre programme yourself on automatic, to imagine a boring, hard day at work and at home and in turn, spoil the day and waste what could have been the most exciting part of your holiday !!
No one asks us to imagine this 'everyday' as hard and boring and uneventful .. No one makes it like that.. no one except we ourselves ! and for no apparent reason..we havent forseen the day, we just generalise and decide that life is going to be hard so we might as well mourn it ..why smile and waste time ?
As a chore, i used to hate cooking.. Waking up early everyday and getting into the kitchen to make the same boring food .. yukk.. i woudlnt even want to eat it.. with that unbearable start, i would lead myself into an unbearable day... One day, i decide to change that..just experiment with what may happen if i decide to pay less attention to the chore itself and enjoy the rhythm of the routine.. The only thing i do differently now is, listen to music while i cook... sing all my fav songs that make me feel great, romantic and loved.. ..such a small change...do i feel a difference ? oh hell YES !!! Time flies now, i dont realise when i started and when i finished.. as a matter of fact, i dont hate cooking anymore .. I look forward to my everyday .. so that when the day starts, i get another chance to sing my fav songs, feel loved and romantic again !
what a blessing everyday can be.. if we decide to look at it like one !
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Women : open your eyes and see the love
My last blog was all about a little bit of husband bashing.. i kind of thought that if i put up one of my regular complaints in front of the world, my husband wouldwake up and take notice .. and guess what !! HE DID ! Poor thing walked around the house the whole day with a puppy face wondering what he wasent getting right ...
There was an AHA moment for me in his sullen expression.. While i was just pulling his leg, my husband was really busy wondering whether my complaint was a serious one and how he could change a few things and make himself a better husband.. It was then that i realised just how much he tries every single day to make me and keep me happy..After 9 years of our "old romance", my husband had'nt forgotten any of the promises he made to me. But i didnt remember to pay attention to his contribution in our relationship...
As women, we are loud, expressive, bold, demanding (all of it in a good way) most of the times.. The men are more subdued, preoccupied,possessive,protective, they think of different things from us..They are different in front of the world and completely somebody else for their wives.. Thats a good thing. Atleast we know who they really are.
As those loud women, we may blabber a lot of 'I love you's' and then be so preoccupied with the thousand chores that we may not hear the silent response which simply says "More".
We write the many love letters and wait for the 'never to be received responses' and feel heartbroken.. But rarely will a husband respond with the written word.. Their responses are in the form of their presence..In their just being there when u r breaking down..in their watching your back when ur taking a risk, in their joy while u succeed...or even in their silence when we dont stop nagging !
As i count the blessings of my life, after my kids, my husband tops the list... In his silence and chosen few words is the gift of consideration and respect for me.. His wise eyes are always watching out for where i am going, not because of possessiveness, but to make sure the road is clear and safe for me to step out. His warm embrace, the same that it was 9 years ago, still will hold me with lesser passion but more warmth and acceptance. When the kids sleep between us (because i want them too), he will spend the night not just admiring them, but loving me too like his third child.
Yes, he doesnt respond to love letters, neither does he take me out for 3 holidays a year, i dont get gifted diamonds and secret dates, but i live with the gift of an extremely understanding, loving and faithful husband each day of my life.. and that is a constant !!! And there can be no better gift than that..
I guess, the women like me will just have to wake up and smell the love in the coffee that u share together like an old couple...one peaceful day after the other !
There was an AHA moment for me in his sullen expression.. While i was just pulling his leg, my husband was really busy wondering whether my complaint was a serious one and how he could change a few things and make himself a better husband.. It was then that i realised just how much he tries every single day to make me and keep me happy..After 9 years of our "old romance", my husband had'nt forgotten any of the promises he made to me. But i didnt remember to pay attention to his contribution in our relationship...
As women, we are loud, expressive, bold, demanding (all of it in a good way) most of the times.. The men are more subdued, preoccupied,possessive,protective, they think of different things from us..They are different in front of the world and completely somebody else for their wives.. Thats a good thing. Atleast we know who they really are.
As those loud women, we may blabber a lot of 'I love you's' and then be so preoccupied with the thousand chores that we may not hear the silent response which simply says "More".
We write the many love letters and wait for the 'never to be received responses' and feel heartbroken.. But rarely will a husband respond with the written word.. Their responses are in the form of their presence..In their just being there when u r breaking down..in their watching your back when ur taking a risk, in their joy while u succeed...or even in their silence when we dont stop nagging !
As i count the blessings of my life, after my kids, my husband tops the list... In his silence and chosen few words is the gift of consideration and respect for me.. His wise eyes are always watching out for where i am going, not because of possessiveness, but to make sure the road is clear and safe for me to step out. His warm embrace, the same that it was 9 years ago, still will hold me with lesser passion but more warmth and acceptance. When the kids sleep between us (because i want them too), he will spend the night not just admiring them, but loving me too like his third child.
Yes, he doesnt respond to love letters, neither does he take me out for 3 holidays a year, i dont get gifted diamonds and secret dates, but i live with the gift of an extremely understanding, loving and faithful husband each day of my life.. and that is a constant !!! And there can be no better gift than that..
I guess, the women like me will just have to wake up and smell the love in the coffee that u share together like an old couple...one peaceful day after the other !
Monday, December 13, 2010
Men, wheres the romance ?
Last night I caught hold of my 3 year old rascal and threatened him into telling me why he loves me....
my words exactly " bol tane mama kem game, nai to hu tane nai chhodu" ( tell me why you love mama or else i wont let you go") . His reply " kaanke kaanke atle" ( because because thats why). So cleverly he escaped giving me 2 words of praise, which would have made my day, i would have probably even noted them down in my memory diary..
I think its a very mens thing, not being able to express the love they feel..i wonder what they think.."it may make them look weaker, or its a girls thing, or its just not macho enough" god knows what.. i can never decipher a mans mind..so i dont even try, but it definately intregues me and i want to push them, shake them and find the answer to one simple question.. " why dont u guys remember to compliment, to tell someone u like them , to remind someone that you love them ?"
My husband and I are into this daily routine, for the past 9 years now, I remind him everyday that he has forgotten to compliment me on how nice I look today ! and each time he has the same crooked smile in response which says " dont u ever give up ?"... well, my response " No, we dont give up ! why should i not get that compliment when i run on the treadmill like a maniac just so that i am in the best shape for my husband ..and husband dear wont even notice... His reaction to my weight loss " get a blood check done"
As women, (i speak for all my girl friends) we mostly want just one thing, or may be a couple of things...Love, appreciation, lots of money and a life of luxury.. i dont know in which order it goes, but Love is essential, for our survival... for our smiles to stay intact, The compliments we get from you ( husbands, boyfriends, men in general) are just absolutely necessary for the gossip that we need to churn out to make other girlfriends jealous !
And whats with the classic " I am scared, i dont know what she will think..I dont want to lose her as a friend" Buck up !! She may love you secretly for the rest of her life for validating her and thinking she was good enough to love ! How you take it forward completely depends on you, but i can be sure, a woman will never NOT feel on the top of the world knowing that someone loves her !
I get jealous sometimes of the new romances that crop up in front of me.. of new couples coming together, of people getting engaged and that feeling of euphoria !!
Its been 9 years that i've been married now and i'm into that zone where I'm so comfertable with darshan, that seeing him home makes me relaxed and sleepy, like a child would feel in the company of her faithful teddybear.. But its hardly a feeling of euphoria ! I want that feeling too.. which would keep me awake in the night instead of sleepy in the day ! So i tell my husband " do something that will make me feel like we are still a new couple" I get his crooked smile in response again... God ! i am almost settled with my O.R (old romance ), but would i give my right arm for some new excitement and passion with the same old humble husband ? You bet !!
But even after this blog, i know what i'm going to get.. my old crooked smile, which i completely cherish by the way :) Sure , new romances are very exciting , but maybe not as comfertable as the old ones, like the one that i have.. I am going to try and pacify myself by thinking that maybe after 2 kids, a good nights sleep will do me more good than the restlessness and keeping awake !
my words exactly " bol tane mama kem game, nai to hu tane nai chhodu" ( tell me why you love mama or else i wont let you go") . His reply " kaanke kaanke atle" ( because because thats why). So cleverly he escaped giving me 2 words of praise, which would have made my day, i would have probably even noted them down in my memory diary..
I think its a very mens thing, not being able to express the love they feel..i wonder what they think.."it may make them look weaker, or its a girls thing, or its just not macho enough" god knows what.. i can never decipher a mans mind..so i dont even try, but it definately intregues me and i want to push them, shake them and find the answer to one simple question.. " why dont u guys remember to compliment, to tell someone u like them , to remind someone that you love them ?"
My husband and I are into this daily routine, for the past 9 years now, I remind him everyday that he has forgotten to compliment me on how nice I look today ! and each time he has the same crooked smile in response which says " dont u ever give up ?"... well, my response " No, we dont give up ! why should i not get that compliment when i run on the treadmill like a maniac just so that i am in the best shape for my husband ..and husband dear wont even notice... His reaction to my weight loss " get a blood check done"
As women, (i speak for all my girl friends) we mostly want just one thing, or may be a couple of things...Love, appreciation, lots of money and a life of luxury.. i dont know in which order it goes, but Love is essential, for our survival... for our smiles to stay intact, The compliments we get from you ( husbands, boyfriends, men in general) are just absolutely necessary for the gossip that we need to churn out to make other girlfriends jealous !
And whats with the classic " I am scared, i dont know what she will think..I dont want to lose her as a friend" Buck up !! She may love you secretly for the rest of her life for validating her and thinking she was good enough to love ! How you take it forward completely depends on you, but i can be sure, a woman will never NOT feel on the top of the world knowing that someone loves her !
I get jealous sometimes of the new romances that crop up in front of me.. of new couples coming together, of people getting engaged and that feeling of euphoria !!
Its been 9 years that i've been married now and i'm into that zone where I'm so comfertable with darshan, that seeing him home makes me relaxed and sleepy, like a child would feel in the company of her faithful teddybear.. But its hardly a feeling of euphoria ! I want that feeling too.. which would keep me awake in the night instead of sleepy in the day ! So i tell my husband " do something that will make me feel like we are still a new couple" I get his crooked smile in response again... God ! i am almost settled with my O.R (old romance ), but would i give my right arm for some new excitement and passion with the same old humble husband ? You bet !!
But even after this blog, i know what i'm going to get.. my old crooked smile, which i completely cherish by the way :) Sure , new romances are very exciting , but maybe not as comfertable as the old ones, like the one that i have.. I am going to try and pacify myself by thinking that maybe after 2 kids, a good nights sleep will do me more good than the restlessness and keeping awake !
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Happiness, not more than 10 mins away!
What started as a terrible day ended like a dream !
I woke up getting terrible news about a dear cousin meeting an accident..Im not an easy taker of bad news so with my blood sugar levels dropping and feeling palpitations of the heart, i didnt even have the energy to stand and support myself.
With the way the sensex takes a bow sometimes from its all time highs, its not even a graceful dance..I was convinced i'm going to lose all my money eventually. Total self doubt creeping in, not the best feeling in the world...Lack of sleep the entire week were simply adding to the fatigue and exhaustion. I hadnt yet finished with the household chores so i couldnt even just hide under my cozy blanket and dissappear..
Luckily my husband was around so i would keep huddling up to him like an injured puppy. He tried his best to assure me that i was doing fine and would cope. There were a lot of appointments scheduled for the day, mostly work and i had no clue how i was going to manage..
One of those crucial appointments took me by surprise. We had a meeting with the principal of my college. I walk into her office, feeling nostalgia of all the years spent in that campus, recalling every small detail of our mischief, feeling like a complete brat ! The current principal didnt remember who i was, but she still smiled at the vague memory of a girl with dimples who sometimes drove her up the wall.. "I know you were an ex student, cant remember your name, but those dimples i cant forget". In her remembering my dimples, i forgot my woes..
walking out of her office after what seemed like a good meeting, i meet old peons and maids who remember my name.. I remember them..they made a lot of money out of me earlier.. I would be fined every week for doing things i shouldnt be doing. But who cared ? they rememered me with fondness.. There was no better feeling in the world at that point.
Old teachers walked up to meet someone who looked fimiliar and then suddenly gasped at their realisation. After the initial 'oohs and aahs' came the classic "you've lost so much weight!!!!, what have u been up to ? you have CHILDREN ??????????, no ways !!".
That day i left the campus with priceless hugs and smiles and fond memories..College was always just 10 minutes away from where i lived, but today, it was not college that i revisited.. It was happiness.. In the many compliments that i left my teachers and staff with, i found myself forgetting my frowns.. Its true that when u make someone happy, you're going to be the one left delighted !
I am certain that for everyone, happiness on a bad day couldnt be more than 10 minutes away.. think about it..who can you revisit and surprise ? An old friend, old teacher, grandparents ? anyone in your life who is not expecting you to reach out to them would fill in the precious gap ! Drop in, with / witout flowers, gifts, chocolates.. doesnt matter..
What may start out as a terrible day, will end up like a dream.. I guarantee that !
I woke up getting terrible news about a dear cousin meeting an accident..Im not an easy taker of bad news so with my blood sugar levels dropping and feeling palpitations of the heart, i didnt even have the energy to stand and support myself.
With the way the sensex takes a bow sometimes from its all time highs, its not even a graceful dance..I was convinced i'm going to lose all my money eventually. Total self doubt creeping in, not the best feeling in the world...Lack of sleep the entire week were simply adding to the fatigue and exhaustion. I hadnt yet finished with the household chores so i couldnt even just hide under my cozy blanket and dissappear..
Luckily my husband was around so i would keep huddling up to him like an injured puppy. He tried his best to assure me that i was doing fine and would cope. There were a lot of appointments scheduled for the day, mostly work and i had no clue how i was going to manage..
One of those crucial appointments took me by surprise. We had a meeting with the principal of my college. I walk into her office, feeling nostalgia of all the years spent in that campus, recalling every small detail of our mischief, feeling like a complete brat ! The current principal didnt remember who i was, but she still smiled at the vague memory of a girl with dimples who sometimes drove her up the wall.. "I know you were an ex student, cant remember your name, but those dimples i cant forget". In her remembering my dimples, i forgot my woes..
walking out of her office after what seemed like a good meeting, i meet old peons and maids who remember my name.. I remember them..they made a lot of money out of me earlier.. I would be fined every week for doing things i shouldnt be doing. But who cared ? they rememered me with fondness.. There was no better feeling in the world at that point.
Old teachers walked up to meet someone who looked fimiliar and then suddenly gasped at their realisation. After the initial 'oohs and aahs' came the classic "you've lost so much weight!!!!, what have u been up to ? you have CHILDREN ??????????, no ways !!".
That day i left the campus with priceless hugs and smiles and fond memories..College was always just 10 minutes away from where i lived, but today, it was not college that i revisited.. It was happiness.. In the many compliments that i left my teachers and staff with, i found myself forgetting my frowns.. Its true that when u make someone happy, you're going to be the one left delighted !
I am certain that for everyone, happiness on a bad day couldnt be more than 10 minutes away.. think about it..who can you revisit and surprise ? An old friend, old teacher, grandparents ? anyone in your life who is not expecting you to reach out to them would fill in the precious gap ! Drop in, with / witout flowers, gifts, chocolates.. doesnt matter..
What may start out as a terrible day, will end up like a dream.. I guarantee that !
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