Imagination is such a powerful thing !

Everyone has certain recurring dreams..they may be short or long, scary or happy..a lot of them are about people trying to fly and then suddenly they hear something snapping and see themselves falling to the groud !

Another recurring dream is that one where someone is climbing down the stairs and misses a step and you actually feel yourself jerking out of your sleep when that happens ! All dreams have meanings.. you can analyse them ..But how can something happening in your imagination physically move you ?how do u wake up crying when u realise that you have an exam and ur not prepared and are failing..while it was only something your mind made up in the middle of the night !?

Every single time when i am low or tired , i have a recurring dream..that of having met Oprah winfrey ! each time the place and the situation is different, but its always a long dream and so so distinct that i cannot possibly distinguish between between my dream and reality.. Every detail about the dream is so clear.. once i meet her in the carpark of Harpo productions, another time it was her trip to India where i waited for a whole day in the hotel that she was staying.. In the dream i had last night, i met her at her studio in L.A which she doesnt frequent really !

I remember her clothes, the fragrance, the conversation, the way i felt when i saw her in front of me ..my crying like a child when i could actually touch her hand...After dreams like that i realise how difficult it must be for people suffering from diseases like schizophrenia to distinguish their imagination from reality..

Last night, a friend told me "You must meet Oprah once, maybe that will give your life its meaning !" I agree with him completely !! But after last night, i wonder whether i have already accomplished that !! Because i still cant believe it was my imagination !

Dictionary of a new parent ...

I've always been a great fan of good language..The beautiful use of words twisted and turned to change their meaning to express love, hatred, joy, sadness- the entire gamut of emotions can be so potent !

My love for language also made me a diction trainer..I may have known a few more words than the average Jane, but the meanings and the impact  of even the commonest of words truly sunk in only after becoming a mother of 2 brats !

My new word dictionary follows :

1)hatred : what you feel for your husband during labour pains.

2) magic : the transition that happens in your heart when ur beautiful little baby opens its eyes for the first time.

3) babies : Tiny volcanoes of noise and energy that burst at the most inopportune moments !

4) trance : the most peaceful quiet moment where the mind is blank and free from all greed and fear - because u r sleeping next to your babies, smelling their skin and hearing their heartbeats !

5) handsome : the quality of good looks that belongs ONLY to your son !

6) Beautiful : The quality of good looks that belong ONLY to your daughter !

7) bragging : what all parents do from the time their child is born till they turn 5 or 6 years old .

8) joy : the overpowering feeling of contentment while you go crazy playing and laughing with ur rascals.

9) bliss : watching the kids play while you can read and the maid can clean up behind them.

10) fear : losing sight of your child in a crowded mall even if for a second !

11) gratitude : what you feel after you spot your child again.

12) incorrigible : that quality of your child where no matter what you do, he / she will never stand corrected..coz he / she threatens you to get lost in the mall again if you dont give him what he wants !

13) anger : The feeling that you get in your hands and teeth when your child wont eat after ordering 4 of his favourite dishes !

14) frustrated : what you feel when your child insists on doing potty the same second that u sit to eat after starving the whole morning !

15) cheated : the feeling most new parents are left with after long sleepless nights, no time tables, no sex and a colic child !

16) worth it ! : even after all the above, the way you feel about having your baby while he / she is asleep like an angel !

17) love : something to be completely understood only after you become a parent !

happy parenting :)

First impressions = last impression ??

I've never taken pride in my sense of judgement,whether it is judgement of roads or measurements or situations..Infact i almost have a knack of making the wrong judgements everytime..no surprise then that i dont drive ! My friends think it weird that i am so scared of getting behind the wheel, considering that i am a control freak !! (or atleast they think i am !)

The most difficult one out of all judgements, ironically seems to be the easiest one... judging people ! Everyone judges everyone..without an exception.. Its a scary thing but i guess we are all born to impress, arent we ? I should know, i teach grooming for the sole reason that u r prepared to be judged .

Technically i am more sound now, knowing how to read body language and all, but i still am not a pro at relying on the first impressions my mind makes. Why would we say then, that first impressions are the last impressions ??

I learnt a few days ago that our mind is such an egoistic being, it wants us to be right all the time..so if we have judged someone in the first few seconds of interaction as 'lazy' or ' dumb', our mind will focus only on those incidents which prove those negative qualities in that person.. We may almost negate or ignore the part where he / she is doing well or working hard.. but will definately stress on the incident when they left work early or couldnt creatively participate in a meeting.."see, i told you she was good for nothing..i knew it !"

The more i learn, the more i realise that my first impressions fail me,, almost always..In due course of time I always end up liking the person i disliked in the first meeting.. If there was someone who i thought i could trust with eyes closed, they have hurt me in the worst possible manner.. and i wonder, why i cannot judge people correctly !

First impressions are important yes, because if your packaging is good, people are more interested in knowing you better..u get a better chance of being accepted and liked. But first impressions = last impressions ?  I really dont think so !

I've just made it a policy to give people more time to prove themselves, to give them more chances to open up. That way i also give my mind more time to make, or rather try to make a sensible impression about people or situations.

whats the hurry anyways ? Also,I had read somewhere "either you can judge people or you can love them" Since i am pathetic at the judging bit, i'll just choose the latter..makes my life easier !

Till the next wrong judgement,  life is good ! :)

love on valentines...

Looks like i’m getting old !  I’ve started to sound like the cynical aunties i would come across earlier.. My views on valentines day have started matching their “resigned – for – life” opinions on romance.

“Its just a way to make money for the greeting card companies, thats why they promote it so much”, was what someone had told me when i was 20. I was furious and told myself that she definitely lacks love in her life, hence doesn’t understand the value of this day ! 9 years after that day, I’m thinking, maybe she was right after all... I cant understand all the fuss.. the mush in the air overshadows the pollution for a day, boyfriends spend more than they can afford, the restaurants laugh their way to the bank and you cant even think of stepping into a gift shop today !

The political parties get a chance at free publicity by trying to violently reject a concept that was brought in by the Europeans....its not ‘swadeshi’ they say !!

Every signal on the road is filled with autorikshaws riding down with young couples who cant stop kissing ! the police make a quick buck at lonely spots charging fines to couples who may be cozying up and expressing their love to each other !  sounds like an expensive day, this !

I’m sure I sound like an old complaining hag..but i don’t care.. i am just proved wrong after all these years by that wise old lady.. I can now feel where she was coming from.. her ideas didn’t come from the lack of love, but from the genuine fullness and richness of love in her every day !

Marriage- a good marriage, teaches you that love  is a ‘verb’, its a ‘doing thing’, not something reserved to be expressed only 1 day out of the 365.. love, is being there- ready and available when you are needed, it is in the knowing  and doing what makes your partner comfortable and happy. It is the quiet understanding and faith that you will love each other even when you put on weight and get grey...love is not time bound.. it cant be..it doesn’t even have a price tag on it and no one can wrong you for it either, not the police, nor the politicians..Love is simply the first smile of the day when you wake up happy- sleeping next to the one you love, grateful for have making the right decisions in life which were not based on lust, but a comforting feeling that “yes- this man will be good to me”

I have nothing against valentines day, i will enjoy all the fuss that even I will be a part of to some extent.. but its not an extra ordinary day.. or then maybe, everyday is extraordinary for people who understand and experience true love !

happy valentines J

An extra ordinary brand of ordinariness !

All these years, I though of myself as an ‘absolute average’. There was not a single thing about me that was special, or lets say, more special than others around me .. Not my face, definitely not my body, intelligence..well, just as much as every un-used mind, no special skills to boast  off.. basically I was the “typical girl next door”.

 The blessing was, I didn’t feel the need to be anything or anyone else. I was fine. I enjoyed the fact that I could escape the prying eyes of people and didn’t raise any expectations from anyone..I was accepted and loved for being ordinary ! It is actually a huge blessing in today’s date when every parent wants their child to be nothing but the best !!

After experiencing more than a decade of being a nobody,   I was genuinely bored of the same old complacent me and thought that a change would be nice.. So after thinking about how far I could go beyond the ordinary, i actually dared to take those first few steps.

Frankly, i really didn’t go very far..I was scared that if I changed something about myself, I wouldn’t fit in !  or so I thought..till I came across someone who stood out, but still fit it ! I was in awe of her from that moment on..She was like everyone else, but something set her apart for the rest.. It wasen’t her makeup or her clothes, she didn’t even have the body of a model nor the face of an actress, but there was something I couldn’t identify !  I wanted to be her...

There was a light that shone from her ordinary self. Even if she would have covered herself in veils, she would not be able to cover her real nature without illuminating the world in a new inimitable way ! She was the one who everyone wanted to see..! Now after so many years, I know the word, I know what set her apart.. It was her Charisma !

I have learnt from her that it’s enough to be your average self, as long as you are an ‘extra ordinary brand of ordinariness’ !

The matchmaker !

"Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match,
find me a find, catch me a catch"

I first heard this in the beautiful film Mrs Doubtfire !! I guess i must be having something to do with this matchmaking business in my past life.. Its fascinating and yet i'm not able to put a finger on it !

An unexpected turn of events today made me change my sunday gym plan and took me to the quiet streets of santacruz east, a place where i've never set foot earlier...We were there to see a Mr Jayendra Sodha..a popular matchmaker who brings people together only for the sheer love for his hobby !! (Mind you, i didnt go for me..just to help out a cousin to get hitched !) He doesnt charge a penny for his services, so i doubted how good he might be !

 We took quite a while to locate his distant office, but once we were around, it was easy to locate.. Throngs of people walking in a walking out of this place which was no bigger than a rat-hole !! Every person there seemed incharge,  so it was tricky to locate who this Mr Sodha among all of them !

Outside his house, 3 to 4 young guys dressed in formal clothes hung around, body language a little shy and awkward, some almost wondering what there were doing there.. I figured they were the candidates, who probably came along with their parents while the mothers looked through fat albums of prospective
' good looking, well educated, fair with long hair type of gujarati girls'

I wanted to laugh at that site !! but i was feeling so sorry for the boys who were waiting there that i just kept the giggle within !

That place was like an encyclopedia of all the gujaratis across the country... unbelievable...Vaishnavs, lohanas, mehtas, jains, darjis, kapods etc etc etc.. I didnt even know there were so many sub castes among gujjus !! That guy knew every single biodata at the back of his hand and the tip of his tongue  !!  Lots of Mbs's, graduates, diplomas, single (called "fresh" according to him), lots of people with broken engagements, with divorces !!! I couldnt believe my eyes and the way they went around it !! I was having a ball !!!!!

I always thought there are more girls waiting to be married and very few guys !! I have been proved wrong today.. More guys, less girls ! For sure ....

The energy of that place was amazing.. fascinating.. lots of people there, no space to walk.. i can easily compare it to a crowded first class compartment in the indian trains.. atleast a 100 people in a 1 bedroom hall house  ! All of them there with one single intention.. to get their beloved child/ siblin / friend married to a suitor !

They couldnt make enough space for the paper work so created an online site..www.jayendrasodha.com, thankgod for that !! Now the boys wont have to wait in queue ! I am going to visit this website just for the heck of it  ! maybe to make myself happy once again, that the suitor that i have, is really the best among the lot ;)

Boys and girls.. if ur reading this blog AND looking for a partner.. give this guys a shot ! I was maha impressed !!

I had the best one day sunday picnic :)

ps : also what made my day was that a lot of parents came up to me to ask if i was one of the girls who was willing to marry !! Havent stopped laughing since !

Who moved my cheese, butter and Jam ??

Something has changed.

Life is different.. So different from what it was just a couple of months ago.. Infact if I rewind and go back some 6 months, I would never have imagined the space I am in today ! Its a good place to be in fortunately, and I have no complaints, but I wonder how it all just built up !

I have always been a positive person and thats really no surprise anymore, but I would'nt credit just that to this change..C'mon I've always been positive but on the other hand I've been a whiner too !! I have seen, smelt, felt, heard and tasted the bad and the ugly times.. and have I complained about it all ?? Oh yes !! even to the guy who ironed my clothes and the bai who washed the dishes !!!

Actually the only thing I have done consciously in these past few months is tried and said more "Yes-es" than "No's".  Could that really change so much ?? 

Life kept throwing these opportunities at me, small, miniscule, unimportant ones.. Usually I would'nt even have looked at what was coming, but this time I paid attention..I caught whatever was been thrown at me..looked at it for a second and said "yes" to it.. I think God was taken by surprise.. he may not have expected that from me, so he kept throwing more, (just to be sure that it was me who was catching it )....some good ones, some bad ones, some just empty testers !

I said yes to most, took the opportunity, followed the  instructions attached (just my intution actually)..I was surprised at myself ! I could do a job, the way it was told..and sometimes I did better than anyones expectations ! The opportunities started growing in size and significance and all my empty "boring" time got fuller with work and discovering myself .I began to really enjoy being me after all and suddenly there were more smiles than frowns, more gratitude than complaints, more love than anger..

The void had been filled. I had a full cup now ! The "aha" moment here... no one filled it for me ..I had to do it myself ! I did it and I continue to do it day in and day out ..

There are days when I wonder whether I will be able to pull it off again..there are doubts that  maybe I was witnessing something which is called "beginners luck" and I might run out of that luck soon. There are some low phases when I dont do as well as I want to, but I dont give up. I learn. I improvise. I achieve.

I stick to this mantra now, in good days and bad.. "I will make it happen"

Guess what ! its really working for me .. Try it . Might work for you too !

Heres to new opportunities !

Cheers !!